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Leaving
Unbelief and Promiscuity
to Finding Jesus
When I was 21
years old, I began to have a desire to get closer to God. Having grown
up in the Catholic Church, I figured that getting back to weekly mass
was the best place to start. I was dating a girl at the time, and we
were involved sexually. I knew this was against the will of God, and I
wanted to stop, but it's pretty hard to quit. One night I told my
girlfriend that I didn't want to have sex anymore. After that, our
relationship lasted about a week.
I felt good about my decision, but I knew I
still needed to ask God to forgive me for having sex outside of
marriage. I decided to go to confession. I told the priest what I'd
done. He asked if I used protection when I had sex. I asked him if he
meant a condom. He said yeah. I said yes. He said that it was O.K., as
long as I use a condom.
I walked out of that church a happy man. I
resumed my sexual activities. A few months later, however, the guilt
returned. I knew it was wrong, condom or not. I stopped having sex, and
decided that I would try not to have sex until I got married.
A friend of mine invited me to Horizon
Christian Fellowship in San Diego. Having never studied nor read the
Bible (or been encouraged to by the Catholic church), I enjoyed the
sermons very much. I heard the gospel and understood it, and believed
it, but I wasn't ready to repent (change my ways). I thought I was cool
with God, since I wasn't having sex anymore. Then I heard the Sermon on
the Mount from Matthew chapter 5-7. Jesus said that if you lust after or
fantasize about women, it's just as bad as committing adultery, as far
as God's concerned. I'd stopped having sex, but I hadn't stopped lusting
after girls, or fantasizing. I figured that if I set my mind to it, I
could probably (maybe & hopefully) hold out from having sex until I
got married. This was a possibility. But I knew that there was no
possible way on this planet that I was going to stop fantasizing, or
looking at and lusting after beautiful women. No way.
I continued going to the Bible study, and
learned about the power of the Holy Spirit. The Bible says that God can
give you power to resist temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13 - No temptation
has overtaken you but such as is common to man, but God is faithful, and
will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the
temptation will allow you a way out, that you may endure it). I figure
that made sense. If God is all powerful, and if He can do anything, then
yeah, He can keep me from lusting after women.
So, after about two months of bible study, I
prayed to Jesus and asked Him to forgive me of my sins. I asked the Holy
Spirit to come into my life, and give me the power to live the way God
wants me to. This happened at a service at Horizon Christian Fellowship,
at a Miles McPherson service on a Wednesday night.
The very next night, I got a call from a
girlfriend that I hadn't seen in months. She wanted to take me out. She
had never offered to take me out before this night. The only time we
ever spent together was when I went to her house in the middle of the
night, maybe once every couple months. Now, she wants to drive over and
pick me up, and take me to her "special place", some mystery
location that she wouldn't reveal. I remembered something about being
tempted after you get saved. I thought I probably shouldn't go out with
her. But dumb as I was, I told her to come get me.
She arrived at my house at around 10:00 PM. I
asked her to stop by the post office before we went to her "special
place". The Sports Arena post office is open late into the night.
As I was leaving the post office, I noticed something on one of the
counters. The place is usually cleaned by that time, this object caught
my eye. I picked it up. It was a Bible. A little red Bible booklet with
Old English type. I immediately remembered something about God always
being with you, and helping you resist temptation. I put it in my
pocket. I got back in the car, and headed for the "special
place".
I grew up in San Diego. I'd ridden my bike and
driven my car all over San Diego. This "special place" is
visible from the I-5 freeway (a road I'd been on many times), yet I had
never seen it. I'd heard about this "special place", but had
never been there until this night. The "special place" turned
out to be the Mount Soledad War Memorial - A thirty foot tall CROSS.
Yeah, a cross. So now I'm standing there looking at this cross, with a
Bible in my pocket. I was so happy. I felt like God was saying,
"You're my boy now." All I could think of was how
awesome God is. All I talked about was God, and the cross, and, "Ya
know when I was little, I went to Sunday school, blah blah
blah....." Of course my date was frustrated, so we left. When we
got in the car and turned on the radio, there was a PREACHER on!!!!!
It was a commercial or newscast or something. I
was laughing at this point. God rules! We ended up at her house. Now,
for the past few years, I hadn't set foot in this girl's house without
ending up in bed. But tonight was different. Sex was the furthest thing
from my mind. We sat in the kitchen. She gave me a hot chocolate. After
about ten minutes of nothing, she asked if I wanted her to take me home.
I said yes. And that was the end of that. That used to be the end of
this story, but a few years after this happened, she called me out of
the blue, and I invited her to a Harvest Crusade (outdoor evangelism
meeting, similar to a Billy Graham service). She ended up getting saved,
and she's been walking with the Lord ever since, PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!
God totally delivered me from sexual sin AND
from fantasizing & lusting after women. When the desire to lust
comes, when that initial thought comes, I'm able to stop it immediately,
by the grace of God. I got saved at age 21. Six years later, I married
my best friend. Having kept myself pure for so long, I was able to come
into a marriage relationship without the excess baggage that comes with
being in one sexual relationship after another. I praise Jesus for
setting me free!!!! God can do anything, he can change your life, no
matter what you've done. JESUS CHRIST IS LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eddie Roman
Santa Ana, CA
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